Coming Soon

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That is some top secret stuff right there.

After a short hiatus from writing and a very long hiatus of filming, I’m bringing both back in one beautiful swoop.

I’ve created a strict schedule for me to follow to make this happen, and I’m excited.  I hope you all are excited as well. Especially those few who were there when this whole ‘Christine’ story began.

Shhh. No more cliffangers or unhelpful hints.

Stay tuned, ladies and gents.

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Make Fun Of Everything

Originally posted on TIME:

Would you make fun of a burn victim? Well, we did. Sort of …

We’re comics. In the most recent season of our TV show, in a sketch titled “Insult Comic,” a traditional stand-up comedian professes that he is “going to get everybody” in his set (the guy toward the front with big ears, the fat guy, the woman with comically large breasts). That’s the phrase, isn’t it, when a critic wants to praise a comedian for the fearless nature of his or her comedy? That he or she “gets everybody”? That “nobody is safe”? One of the club patrons in our sketch, however, is a wheelchair-bound burn victim. “You skipped me,” he calls from the audience, with a robotic-sounding artificial larynx. “Go for it,” he says, “I can take it.”

But can we, as a society, take it anymore?

Today it seems that we live in a world of…

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Coffee in Daegu: A Twosome Place

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A one sentence summary: You had me at ‘Breakfast Special’…and So Ji Sub.

A semi- quick story: You have no idea how bummed I was when I found out that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy a good cup of joe in Seoul with popular Korean actor, So Ji Sub.

I’m talking about “A Twosome Place”, a European style coffee shop/lounge co-owned by the actor himself. Drinking coffee with a giant poster of him hanging above me is fangirly enough*.

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“Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential.” 

—Ellen Goodman

Cheers to the new year!

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New Year’s Resolutions are bullshit . Pshhaw, false promises.

Like they appear on an actual to-do list.

Why not go for the gold. When the clock strikes midnight, your enchanted horses don’t transform back into mice and life doesn’t turn out like your resolution.

This year my goal is to not keep living my life on replay.

Basically, at any point I feel uncomfortable, pressured, or that I’m reliving my junior year of college, I’m going to just pass on it. It is the year of “I’m not taking anymore of your shit” and gurl, it’s time to get a life that includes more of my happiness and discovering the consequences of my own actions.

This year I want to better my life and to start by accepting as many challenges as I can. With open arms.

Those dance classes I’ve been meaning to take? Yeah, you bet your sweet ass I’m signing up.

Happy exciting new beginnings and happy bittersweet ends.

Insert cliche related quote here.

Happy New Year.

Coffee and Neon Sneaks: Misadventures in South Korea

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I’ve done it.

Not only have I invented a way to erase the stretch marks and cellulite from women’s thighs with Oreo crumbs, but I have also found my way to the streets of Daegu, South Korea.

And let me tell you. Uggs are out and dark-colored sneakers with neon-colored shoelaces are in.

Oh, and no Oreo-laced elixir yet, ladies. Sorry to get your hopes up.

Anyhow, I am in Korea right now, freezing my buns off, and, of course, trying to figure out how to say no to the persistant beckoning from the Emart greeters to buy some magically delicious cookies.

No in Korean is 안네요 in case you are wondering. As for the correct pronounciation of that word, I’m not going to bother doing it for you.

My day job is teaching English not super intricate languages like Korean.

I hope to bore-cite (see what I did there?) with my fun travel stories soon.

Until next time, goodbye from the coffee country of the world (for reals though, cuz guuuurl, they have two coffee shops on every block).

“The Greatest Generation gets too much credit. Those World War II guys, if they had all the shit we have today, they’d be assholes too. It’s just circumstantial. It’s what you’re called on to do that makes you great. We haven’t been called on to do anything but buy shit and get fat.” 

― Louis C.K.

My interview with a vampire (Part 1)

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Photo by ARNOLD Masonry and Concrete

Dammit. That’s going to leave a stain.

I wet another paper towel as I continue to scrub ferociously at the spilt coffee near the seam of my beige blouse. After waiting nearly an hour for my guest to arrive, my assistant burst into my office, out of breathe, to inform me of Mr. Perigard’s impendending arrival.

Alistair Perigard. The name alone made me jump high enough to knock my coffee mug clear off my desk.

Alistair Perigard. A highly respected business icon in the technology industry.

Alistair Perigard.  A man whose looks covered at least three magazines this month and sparked even more tabloid gossip than Brangelina and Bieber combines.

Alistair Perigard. The world’s first known vampire.

That is why I, a junior reporter, was asked to conduct an interview with a undead, tecnology mogul. Who in their right mind would believe a story like this, was most likely my boss’ thought process when he handed me this assignment. Me. The small but fearless writer when it came to hauntings and alien abductions.
But this…this interview had me a little on the edge.

Five minutes have gone by since receiving word about Mr. Perigard.

I remain seated until I see my boss lead three men down the hall to my office. Mr. Perigard begins walking alongside my boss, chatting.
Before the men reach my office, I remember my safety kit. I immediately jump up and pull open the bottom left drawer of my desk.

The contents of the safety kit are are follows:

· a necklace of garlic
· a case of silver bullets accompanying a revolver.
· a spray bottle of holy water
· a vile of dead man’s blood
· a pair of newly carve wooden stakes

A kit hand delivered by his secretary, Mr. Perigard wanted to make sure I felt extra comfortable with this interview.

A knock on the door and then a pause. Mr. Perigard entered the room.

Operation Journal #2: Prepping for NaNo and Anyonghaseyo

Historians get ready. Keisha Douglas plans to have an extraordinary November this year.

So far, I haven’t completely ignored my career goals while working part time. And I still find time to write.

What started as my ‘neat’ Halloween-themed fiction series has transformed into my future NaNoWriMo project. Let’s just say no one seemed to bite when I pitched the idea and it would kill me to toss it. Expect a sneak peak before the start of NaNo.

Besides churning out my best work on-the-page since…I don’t know, my poetry writing days in grade school, I will be beginning a new chapter in my life by adventuring overseas. I guess I could elaborate, but I’d rather have cool pictures along with it.

Where to? The hint is in the title ( and the image). Oh, you don’t need me to translate that for you.