This is my year.

“She repeats to herself over and over again.”

I’m a recent college grad and I’m stuck in this awkward limbo between finding a job and trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Let’s just say these past 4 months have been rough for me. I couldn’t do much job searching due to the fact that I was suffering from a serious illness. It’s called acid reflux.

Ridiculous, right? You’re probably thinking: “That’s something a lot of people get!” You probably think I’m exaggerating.

Well it was so severe that…

  • I went to the ER instead of a concert because I couldn’t breathe (I thought I was having an asthma attack)
  • I had to be on 4 different medicines (not all at once I promise)
  • I was not able eat or drink anything besides soup and Sierra Mist for 3
    This is what my stomach was doing, with or without food in it.


  • I threw up everyday for almost two weeks, which made me lose 15 lbs
  • I couldn’t sleep for more than 4 hours a night for two months (couldn’t breath very well) and had to sleep seated everynight
  • coffee and chocolate actually make me suffocate.
  • had to take a barium swallow x-ray to see if I had an ulcer, gallbladder problems, or a hernia (nope! yay!)
  • annnd freaked out my doctor with all of these extreme instances because it makes no sense for someone with my diet and my fitness to have acid reflux.
Yeah, rough is an understatement. I felt like I was going to die. Luckily, you can’t die from acid reflux. My stomach couldn’t handle anything.
   Don’t worry, I’m MUCH better now. I’m freelancing more and everything. Plus, as I found out yesterday by eating chocolate cake (it was my sister’s birthday), chocolate no longer causes me to suffocate. I can almost eat almost normally again, there is less acid reflux, and I sleep through the night. Another plus, Sierra Mist* saved my life (and the meds of course). Seriously, the bubbles or something help me breathe.

Now for my reason for this post. One thing that’s never listed under possible reasons for acid reflux: stress and anxiety. What I had was intense, tsunami amounts of stress.

Last year was a whirlwind of craziness for me. The downside, you see, was the acid reflux. My body took a beating and I had no idea that it was happening.

I had to produce my senior film (the “Simple and Pretty” music video)with the help of my amazing co-director Destinee, of course), as well as direct it, put up with diva fits, design and make my set from scratch (with the help of my amazing crew) all while trying to finish my last year of college. And not to mention the extra quarter I was forced to do…but that’s a different story.

But the music video was completed successfully. It was a great experience and I can’t wait for the next one.

This year is my year. I’m going to do my best to live my dreams. Correction, I’m going to live out my goals.

Saying “dreams” feels less optimistic to me.


*Sierra Mist doesn’t endorse me for saying that it saved my life, but they should!


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