I’m quitting… terrible habits that I have. I’m not talking about quitting any ordinary habit. Though I definitely quit yoga for the time being.
It all started when I began following one of the best blogs to read if you are a 20-somthing or someone who is just looking for some motivation called Cordelia Calls It Quits. Basically her site is about quitting the useless things in life. From watching excessive amounts if television to feeling embarrassed by her guilty pleasures, Cordelia (real name Kelly) has a long list of quits.
I definitely have to thank her for making her blog, because I have also decided to make my own quit list (Don’t worry. This website isn’t going to be centered around my “quits”). I felt like it was time that I share my own and hope that my readers will want to do the same.
My Quitting List:
- Trying to please everyone. I’m talking about my films. For the longest time, I was always making my films for everyone but me. I would use them to prove someone that I was better than they thought, that I didn’t see being as women as an obstacle, and, a lot of times, doing it for my family recognition. That was true until I was working on my senior film. I stressed like crazy and became focused on being happy if it came out like me and the band had planned it.
- Being embarrassed to talk about my aspirations. I shyly say, “I make…music videos.” Or “I’m a freelance writer.” Or “I want to move to South Korea to become a teacher and continue my work in music videos there.” I’m always waiting for someone to laugh or give me that “Is that what you do?” confused look. Yes, that is what I do. I should be proud of it. I’ve worked hard to get this to point. Also, if someone hired me to travel the world and write, I would take that job in a heartbeat.
- Trying to make money off my blog. Yeah, no. Not happening. Not unless I want to work on it full time. Ha, that’s crazy. I would love to have sponsors too. But I’m not hunting them down. They can find me.
- Trying to fix everyone’s problems. I may have inadvertently sent out a memo 15 years ago that I am here on this earth to fix other people’s problems. When someone is down, I felt obligated to cheer them up. But ss soon as I hit college, it was like everyone was lining up to take an ax to the candy mountain called “Keisha’s Feelings”. I call it a candy mountain because everyone seemed to think their happiness was better once they took away my time and ignored my feelings. It was a free for all that I am sick of letting people take from.
- Finding success intimidating. It sounds like nonsense, right? Who wouldn’t want to be successful? I know I want success. Though the “road” ahead looks ominous and guarded by zombies wielding machine guns.
- Being ashamed of my weirdness/guilty pleasures. I am a film nerd, I’m obsessed with Korean films, shows, and music. I really miss playing the clarinet. I like to play The Sims. I’m obsessed with all things science. I like to spend hours looking at food to make. And when I’m having a bad day, I like to watch Gilmore Girls. So what?
- My fear of rejection. I can’t recall how many times this has stopped me from applying to a job I’d want. Too many times to admit. Moving to a new place is exciting, but not getting the job I want freaks me out on a regular basis.
- Holding a grudge. This is one of my biggest bad habits. I held so many grudges against people all throughout college If I don’t like someone, then I won’t talk to them. That’s all. I don’t need to waste my time disliking them. They don’t have a place in my life.
- Hiding my spirituality/religion. It took someone who was once a close friend to disregard my religion and tell me I was a moron for believing anything to make me want to more open about my beliefs with other people. A long time ago I made the decision to not flaunt my religion or rub my beliefs into anyone’s face. It was how I was raised. We can talk about it if you bring it up, but it’s not in my life’s mission to make anyone a believer of God. Freedom of religion is just as important to me as separation of church and state. But when someone I thought was my friend completely ignores my feelings just because they have different views, I can’t not be hurt.
- Letting anyone treating me like I’m worthless. Is there a sign on my back that says “Will work for free?” No. I didn’t get a degree just so people could walk all over me and take my work. I make time to be a good writer, a good director, and a good worker. . I’m not going to work 12hrs a week for 1/10 of what I should be making. Pshhh all that b.s. about it as a way to “get experience”. I can find someone who can pay me right. I’m not worthless. I won’t let you make me feel like I am. (Check out Cordelia’s post on being worth more than people may treat you).
- Letting the little things get to me. I forgot to text someone back. I didn’t blog today. I forgot to trim my hair. And no one else’s stress should be my stress either. These things shouldn’t bother me. I’ve got other, more important things to stress about.